I feel like teachers all have a weird love/hate relationship with the month of May. (maybe for some teachers, it’s the month of June, depending on your academic calendar)
On one side, May is the time of year when so many things come together. Content starts clicking together for kids, they start seeing how it all works together and is related. They’re ready at this point to do deeper explorations and more confident in making conjectures they’re unsure of. They rely a little bit less on you and a little bit more on each other and themselves to confirm results. You all know each other really well and the classroom is just a fun environment to be in at this time of year.
On the other side, everyone is restless. The kids can feel summer coming, those days of no alarms and being outside and playing basketball in the park instead of sitting in class. The teachers can feel the sweet promise of a bit of rest and free time. And everyone’s tired. It’s been a full year of work, learning, hardships and triumphs. It’s been a lot. And it’s almost over.
I find myself always getting really emotional during May. I’m the teacher who cries at every graduation, because I can’t handle how proud I am of my students graduating. It seems this emotional state has already started, even though we have about 3 weeks to go still.
I’ve cried every day this week.
Sunday it was because I was changing my hair color and it didn’t quite turn out how I planned. (It’s fine, I was just in a Sunday night panic mode at the time).
Monday it was because a decision was made that I felt was unfair. It was made worse by the fact that when I tried to explain why I was upset to my mom, she didn’t understand what I was saying. I think that situation’s going to be okay too – I mean, I will at least be able to live with it, but I needed to give myself a little time to be upset with it.
Tuesday it was because, well, I’m trying to buy a house at the moment (which is the most adult thing I’ve ever done in my life) and I got the inspection report back and I didn’t know what any of it meant and my dad and realtor were trying to tell me opposite things of what I should request from the seller in terms of repair. That was a bad one because I HATE when I don’t understand things, it makes me feel like I have no control and like I’m going to be taken advantage of by someone who understands it better. This also ended up working out, I made a decision of what to request after lots of crying on the phone with my dad and the seller accepted it! I will be so glad when I close on this house…
Wednesday I started crying looking at Mother’s Day cards. Honestly. At that point I was like Liz, what is wrong with you.
It’s just May. There’s a lot of stress and a lot of emotions whirling around everyone, and I’m frustrated because my attendance is dropping by the day and students are demanding to know their grade and how they can raise it every five seconds.
This post is just to let you all know that if you’re feeling this way, if you started crying in the card aisle at Dollar Tree as well, that it’s okay. It’s May, and you’re a teacher, and you’ve accomplished SO MUCH GOOD this year. It’s okay to be a bit weak and emotionally silly this month.
Let me know if you’ve cried at any really stupid things lately…
(I haven’t cried yet today, so we’ll see if that holds up)
Sprint to the finish, friends! Enjoy the great things about the end of the year, don’t wish them away too soon!
Update: Thursday, I cried at the choir concert, when one of our students sang Leonard Cohen’s Hallelujah and the whole choir spontaneously joined in on the last chorus. I LOVE MY LITTLE COMMUNITY OF KIDDOS SO MUCH.